February 2012 - 1 For The Road

1 For The Road

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1 For The Road - February 2012

DRUNK TEXT

February 24th 2012 03:59

Long live the Queen! Paris Hilton is back in the music scene! Just when you thought you'd gotten rid of her.

You may or may not remember Paris Hilton's previous attempts at reaching popstardom with tracks such as 'Stars are Blind', 'Nothing in this World'' and of course, the apt song title 'Screwed' Well she's done it again.

Twitter is abuzz with comments about her new single 'Drunk Text' which was, of course, conveniently leaked to the internet, and as one tweeter said, It makes Rebecca Black's Friday song look good, another has remarked:
"I'm surprised Paris Hilton's new song Drunk Text isn't very good." - no one.

Why not make your own opinion? To watch the video clip, click here and scroll down to the video, it is as terrible as it sounds.

Really Long Link

The clip has a club like feel with Paris posing in all different clubbing outfits holding her phone and basically talking over a house track. There are flashes of shots, DJs and boys.. I think they could have done much better.

With lyrics such as ''SEX TEXTING = SEXTING, DRUNK SEXTING the words just get all confused'' you can really see that it's not a genius production. they just seemed to throw something together and spew it out into the world like a teen who's had too much booze on a Saturday night (and probably done too much Drunk Texting). Perhaps, that's the point.....

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Posted By: Blondini - Category: Entertainment

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Up the Bum

February 20th 2012 02:42

I don't like things in my bum and neither does my boyfriend. We confirmed that on the weekend when we both went to get colonic hydrotherapy. You're curious aren't you? So was I. As they say curiosity killed the cat, a very apt saying for what we went through. They say you feel 'light' afterwards, you have a sense of wellbeing and feel fresh and clean inside. Apparently you lose weight and it cleans out nasty stuff that has been sitting inside you for a while, it can even prevent cancer! Wanting to detox after holidays abroad I thought it would be great.

"How do you feel?"said the lady as she led me into a room with a bath-like contraption at the side. HOW DO YOU FEEL... how do you think I feel? I'm about to get a hose up the bum how would you feel?!

I actually didn't know how I felt at the time, I hadn't really thought through what was about to happen....after a lengthy pause I said "scared" while she tried answering the question for me by saying 'nervous' ... it was definitely a lot words like that rolled into one as I started asking myself why I was doing this. Health benefits... health benefits.. health benefits... I guess I thought I had a marble up there from when I was a kid and would be glad to get rid of it.

She pointed to a small cup of lube sitting on a towel on top of the bathy/toilety thing and showed me a spout that i apparently had to insert into my rectum MYSELF! I was actually hoping someone else could do it for me so I didn't have to think about it so much - imagine giving yourself the flu injection! There's a reason why you don't.

She left the room and told me to ring the bell when i was ready. Squeezing and squrming and trying to relax I finally got this thing in. And I felt violated... by myself? This was my choice. I had bought it for myself and my boyfriend but I was feeling asthough I had digitally raped myself in some way (for no sick pleasurable gain!).

I was getting ready for the worst experience of my life! She turned the taps on and I felt a warm sensation behind me. She left the room and my colon started filling up with water. Basically your stomach aches like you've eaten bad seafood until you can't stand the pain anymore so you push out - like diorrhea. The squeezing (so the water wouldn't come out) and the pushing went on for about half an hour. I did it I'm guessing around 30 times. I was sweating, I wanted it to end but I curiously couldn't stop looking at what was coming out, where is that marble? I thought I was going to get a hernia with all the pushing I had to do. There were magazines beside me and I had a heat pack on my stomach but I couldn't read anything, couldn't turn a page, I was fixated on the task at hand.

The woman kept coming in and asking me if I was okay. Do you know how hard it is to go to the toilet in front of a stranger? not just to go to the toilet but to have violent diorrhea in front of a stranger? I felt like screaming 'get out get out get out!!' as my stomach started hurting more and more until I could last no longer. I wondered if she enjoyed her job.

After I had completed the marathon and the water tank was down to its last drop I was happy it was over. So happy in fact that I rang the bell 3 times - get me outta here! The woman came shuffling in and I was given further instructions on how to leave the room. I had a cup of probiotics waiting for me outside and a glass of water, a nice gesture after you've had water pumped into your bottom for half an hour.

My boyfriend surfaced from the room next, pale faced and his grey t-shirt had turned black with sweat, shuffling his feet along the floor. He couldn't look me in the eye. He managed to sit down and told me in a kids voice that it the worst day of his life. He didn't talk much for the rest of the day. It was a great Valentines Day surprise.

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Posted By: Blondini - Category: About

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BLACK CAVIAR'S WINS

February 20th 2012 01:53

You've heard about her incredible talent, here's a closer look at what she's achieved - but it's not the Australiasian record yet for the most wins in a row, she needs ONE more to do that and it could happen this weekend at Caulfield! Then we'll wave her goodbye as she heads overseas and cheers will be heard from the jockey and trainers rooms as they say Bon Voyage to the toughest competitor in Australian racing.

It was a great race on Saturday as Black Caviar went up against her old 'rival' Hay List. The poor bugger, if Black Caviar wasn't around people may be wearing red, green and white instead of the salmon and black polka dot atire. Are you bored with her yet?

19 from 19

February 18 - Coolmore Lighning Stakes, Flemington 1000m
February 11 - C.F. Orr Stakes, Caulfield 1400m
January 27 - Australia Stakes, Moonee Valley 1200m
November 5 - Patinack Farm Classic, Flemington, 1200m
October 22 - Schweppes Stakes, Moonee Valley, 1200m
October 8 - Schillaci Stakes, Caulfield, 1000m
May 14 - BTC Cup, Doomben, 1200m
9 April - TJ Smith Stakes, Randwick, 1200m
25 March - William Reid Stakes, Moonee Valley, 1200m
12 March - Newmarket Handicap, Flemington, 1200m
19 February - Coolmore Lightning Stakes, Flemington 1000m
6 November 2010 - Patinack Farm Classic, Flemington, 1200m
23 October 2010 Scweppes Stakes, Moonee Valley, 1200m
09 October 2010 Schillaci Stakes, Caulfield, 1000m
13 February 2010, William Reid, Moonee Vallet 1200m
22 January 2010, Aust Stks, Moonee Valley, 1200m
5 September 2009 Danehill 3YO Stakes, Flemington, 1200m
22 August 2009 Arrow Training Services 3YO Plate, Moonee Valley 1200m
2 May 2009 Blue Sapphire 2YO Stks, Caulfield, 1200m
18 April 2009 Cromwell 2YO Hcp, Flemington, 1000m

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Posted By: Blondini - Category: About

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